There is nothing like the cuddle of a cat. They climb into your lap, demand that you pet them, hold them, and when you do, they close their eyes and purr loudly.
We have 2 cats. I looked for 6 months after my son requested a cat. I had lived with cats and dogs, but never owned one before. I figured since we had twins, let’s get not 1, but 2 cats. So we got brothers, when they were 6 months old. They had been taken to the shelter after the previous owner was told either the cat goes, or she would be evicted. So she gave up her cats, much to the anguish of her young children.
I hunted for a long time because I needed to make sure that whatever cat we got would be a good fit for our ASD twins. My BI is even surprised at how tolerant my cats are. My kids grab them, squeeze them, hug them and it is only 4 times that I know of that one of the cats has scratched or bitten. (usually the other cat, not the one in the photo).
So while I was holding this cat, I thought, how is it? that these cats are like babies/children (as they will be 2 in November) and yet I treat them differently than the children that I gave birth to. Let me explain. When the cat wants a cuddle, it is a wonderful break. But I suppose the difference is that when I’m done, or he is done, I am rarely left wishing that it was longer. When my kid (one of them is clingier than the other) wants a hug, it is usually “not a good time”; I’m at my computer “working”, or they are supposed to be in bed (or doing something that I asked them to and this is a stall tactic).
Why are there days when it seems easier to love the cat than it is to love my ASD children? I suppose it is because while we know that for both the kid and the cat that we will tell them what to do and they will ignore you, we expect it from the cat and allow it, but not for the child. My hubby has often said (when we were first dating/married, and may deny saying it) that he prefers computers to people, because you tell it what to do (code) and it is supposed to do it. When it doesn’t, you fix the code. People are unpredictable. So he will get more easily annoyed (and loud) when my kids do not comply with what we have asked of them. I have had to remember, for myself, a) what was I like at this age b) ASD kids don’t process things the way that NT kids do c) the twins are separate people who don’t process things the same way the other does. So perhaps I am more gentle with my kids at times than I should be, and harder with them at other times. Oh, it’s a hard balance but I’m working on it.
That ASD Mom 