This morning, I have read yet another article about the lack of help, funding or childcare for our children with autism. I have reprinted it below in case it gets removed in the future (from the link).

I also posted this on a facebook group with this comment.

Saw this today on the CBC website. This article talks about one family’s struggle to find childcare specifically for their autistic children and mentions the ABA summer camp.

While I agree with Tracy‘s comments that “All child-care spaces should be inclusive. This means that all staff should know how to support all children … but in reality child-care staff are not trained to support all children,” this article also talks about the limited spaces or specialized and the fact that this mother still had to pay for daycare AND for her BI to go with her kid.

The same can be said about the ABA camp. Even though we parents pay for our children to go, it is a “hardship” (my words) to have to find and then pay for the BI/assistant to go as well. The point of finding space for childcare is that you, the parent, can breathe easy knowing that your child has a place to go that will provide them with the care and attention that they need. While my comment on this is likely a whole other tangent from the article, it is what I thought about when I read this. We have sent our kids to the ABA summer camps 1x only because while it was a great experience for my twins, the cost was prohibitive.

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One thing that I wonder is that there seems to be so much out there these days. Social media is wonderful for getting the word out and spreading information about events or ideas. This is supposedly why there seems to be a prevalence of more cases of mental or physical disabilities in today’s society. The argument has been made that “it” (whatever we are talking about, in this case Autism and special needs children) has always been there, but people are now more aware then we were before due scientific advancements (medical diagnoses) and the fact that social media reaches a bigger audience.

Still it seems like there has been an explosion of cases of autism, racism (COVID racial acts against Asians, BLM), sexual harassment(#metoo), and just plain everything. Sadly, it seems that while the awareness has improved and people are able to access funding or services due to this awareness, it seems that the governments haven’t caught up to this increased demand for services for autism, or other disabilities or community needs. It is time for the services to be better funded and better accessed. It is tiring to know that something exists and yet be denied access to it. Ignorance (I didn’t know it existed) is one thing, but fighting to get basic service is another.

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https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/surrey-mom-childcare-autism-1.6119454

Surrey mom struggles to find summer child care for son with autism

The Catroppas have to rely on extended family, paid staff for help

Michelle Gomez · CBC News · Posted: Jul 28, 2021 5:00 AM PT | Last Updated: July 28

A Surrey mom is facing challenges finding summer child care for her two sons, the eldest of whom has been diagnosed with autism. 

Ashley Catroppa and her husband started looking for specialized options for their sons, aged three and five, in March. However, spaces were already filled at the Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) camp in Surrey, one of the few summer camps in the province specifically for children on the autism spectrum. 

After being put on a waitlist for the ABA camp, Catroppa says she had to enrol her children in a program with no additional support for children with special needs even though it worries her. 

 “I lose sleep at night all the time.” 

When camp staff said they were having difficulties with her eldest son, Talon, after the first week, Catroppa tried to find a solution. She says the B.C. Ministry of Child and Family Development suggested that the family hire a worker from ABA  to assist with Talon at his daycare. 

“So on top of paying a daycare to watch our child, we now have to pay for an ABA worker to come in.” 

Catroppa and her husband both work full time in professions where summers are busy, and taking time off is not an option. 

The Catroppas have increased the hours of a behaviour interventionist they employ to help Talon attend daycare. They also rely on support from extended family to pick Talon up early from daycare.

High demand for child care

Co-founder of the ABA camp in Surrey, Leah Mumford, said that she got the idea to start the camp when she noticed there was a gap in summer care for children with autism. 

“It is really challenging to find an appropriate space sometimes for a kid with autism to go.”

The ABA camp, which started in 2010, runs for four weeks in July with 30 spots per week. When they opened 2021 registration back in March, all 120 spots filled up within eight days. There were an additional 10 or more families on the waitlist for each week. Mumford said that kids come from all over the Lower Mainland to attend the camp. 

“I hate turning kids away because I know there aren’t a lot of good alternatives for them.” 

Tracy Humphreys, founder of BCEdAccess said that it is challenging for families of children with special needs to find care, as there are not many specialty programs. 

“All child-care spaces should be inclusive. This means that all staff should know how to support all children … but in reality child-care staff are not trained to support all children,” said Humphreys. 

Mumford doesn’t believe it is a mindset of exclusion that prevents community camps from accepting children with autism, but rather a problem of capacity and funding. 

Decreased funding

Catroppa said that when funding they receive from the government to help with Talon’s needs is reduced after his sixth birthday in August, they plan to allocate their limited funds to professional help, such as occupational therapy. 

Catroppa hopes to enroll Talon in the ABA program for next summer.

When I was a child, I grew up in a small town during the late 70’s and 80’s. It was a predominantly white/Caucasian population of Scottish and Irish descent. Growing up, it had been my aspiration to marry a McLeod, MacLean, or Mc/MacDonald, so that I would fit in better. Even though my parents lived there for 30+ years, and I was born there, we were considered to be “from away”, because we had no roots there.

It was also largely influenced by the Christian religion/church, mainly Catholic (likely due to the strong cultural links). I grew up in the church. While my family attended various denominations, they were of the Protestant vein, likely due to my parents’ Mennonite background. Church was a large part of my life. I used to say that “I was born in the Church, raised in the Church, and will likely die in the Church.” This influenced and permeated my life so much that I went into the ministry as a profession/career right out of college, and did this career for 13 years before “retiring” at the age of 36.

Over the decades of living and working in the Church, my relationship with it changed and grew in different ways. It wasn’t until my training/20’s, that my understanding changed. I would spend some time reflecting on and explaining that, to me, there is a difference between Church/church, and Religion. Our Faith is what we believe about the world and our place in it, and Church/church or Religion are just one way that we use to express that. It took a long time to come to this understanding; that I learned to separate religion/faith/church and how we function in it.

I think that a lot of people have issues or struggles with the Church because there was likely a negative experience within. Which is sad.

These days, the North American newsfeeds have been rocked by the discovery of mass graves throughout Canada of Residential Schools. Since Kelowna, there have been more discoveries, and vandalism. The latest from BC is the removal of a large cross at the top of Mount Tzouhalem, near Duncan. This has been added to the list of growing destructive acts of Church symbols, as various churches have been burned, or statues defaced. As of July 4, 2021, at least seven fires at six B.C. churches since the initial discovery of the remains of 215 children at the former Kamloops Indian Residential School. Five of those churches were completely destroyed, and RCMP are investigating the fires as suspicious.

The outrage at the death of hundreds of helpless children is understandable. For decades, the Indigenous Peoples have suffered. Reconciliation has been ongoing for the past decade but I would say that it has only been during this past year that I fully understand it. The past year, in particular, with the riots and Black Lives Matter movement, has been an eyeopener for many.

I think that while these voices have been out there for centuries, really, this past year of quarantine, pandemic, political unrest has been the final push for a lot of people, myself included.

As I stated before, my family was considered to be “from away”, which was a muted away of saying that we weren’t one of them. Over the years, I experienced racism, (was called a Nazi and a Commie) but not to the degree that the Indigenous or Black groups have. In the years that I moved away from my hometown/province, there have been more diverse groups moving into the area. The annual Canada Day party of the province was organized by members of the Indo-Canadian group that lived there. There’s even a Buddhist Monastery now.

When I was in college, one of my friends had to explain to me about what it meant to pulled over for DWB (driving while Black). I had seen allusion to this on US television shows, but had no idea how demeaning it was. No idea about this experience of racism.

So the recent church burnings as retaliation or response to the racial injustices have got me thinking about what to tell my children. Due to Reconciliation, there is now a requirement that schools teach a certain amount of Indigenous content. My childrens’ elementary school even has an Aboriginal Youth Worker, which is not something that I grew up with. My children have had difficulty with the curriculum’s inclusion of the Indigineous content as it mostly focused on Residential Schools. This year, they had to read Shin chi’s Canoe. Both of my kids freaked and could not finish it as it greatly disturbed and upset them.

In my last phone call to my mother, I asked her about when I was young, and what did she say to me about the Indigenous peoples. (The local group were the Mi’kmaw or Micmac, as I was taught to call them, who lived on a reserve on an island off PEI.) Her reply was that she didn’t really process it or understand it until after my sister and I had left home. (My mother had grown up in Winnipeg, Manitoba, known to have the “largest Aboriginal population in Canada”, and so she was influenced by what she saw or told about this group.) The fact that my mother said that she didn’t really have the words says a lot to me as well.

So while I struggle with how I understand all of this, and try to find the words to tell my children, what I have come up with so far.

Canada is a mix of different cultural groups. Some have been here for centuries, while others are new. Most of the groups are immigrants with the exception of the Indigenous Peoples, who were here long before the vast mix that you see now. Some newcomers did not or do not treat certain groups well. This is largely, imo, because they are different and it is hard and scary to understand other people.

There were a group of people who decided that the Aboriginal people and how they did things were wrong because it was different than how they, the white people did things. The white people of that time thought that they were better and understood the world better than the Aborginal people did, so the newcomers/white people decided that they needed to fix this. They built schools so that they could educate the Aborginals to the “right way”. This was mostly done by well-meaninged members of the Church.

Today, we have a different way of thinking about how people should be treated, and about how to have dialogue with them. So there are a lot of people in Canada who realize that what was done and at times is being done, is wrong, and they want to fix that. The problem is that there are so many different groups with different voices about these “wrong things” and they have different ideas about what should be done to help or fix it. Some of them are angry and destroyed the churches and other items because they are a symbol of oppression or other hurt. When people are angry, they sometimes do things that they wouldn’t normally do, like when you hit your brother/sister because you are mad.

This is what I have come up with so far and does not really scratch the surface I’m sure. The BLM and residential schools are just a small example of the bursting of the bubble in a way that created awareness to a magnitude that I think previously did not or could not have existed before. The pandemic had people locked in their homes with much time to themselves. This could have been a good thing, leading to a contemplative time of realization about what we really need ( a lot of people upsized or downsized) to get by, or want out of life. But obviously, this also had a different effect on some people, as the isolation led them to withdraw, or seek out/hunger for stimulation. We turned to our TVs and saw and heard horrible things. George Floyd, overdoses, fires, heatwaves, and the list goes on. I wonder that some tuned out as it was too much to take in. I know that I had to tune out Trump shenanigans and other things so that I wouldn’t make my family crazier than we already are.

Of the blogs that I follow, this is today’s post from Derek M. (I wrote this post on May 13, 2021, but forgot to post.)

What If Christ Chose You?

What if it’s true?
That Christ chose you – you in particular –
picked you out of the crowd
to bear this particular fruit for him?
What if he chose you,
and put you right where you are –
exactly there, in that very spot –
to bless his world through you?
What if there is no one else, no one but you,
chosen for this sacred task?
What if God’s Son trusts you so much that
you are his only plan,
his only way to bear this fruit?
Not because he needs you, of course,
but because he chooses to need you.

It is hard to think so, isn’t it?
There must be someone else
better-suited for this.
You’re too busy,
you haven’t enough faith,
or even enough energy,
to do anything like
what you imagine he wants.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you.”
His words come back to you,
echoing still in your soul,
a persistent whisper that only you can hear,
trying to convince you all over again
that he really did choose you
to love this little piece of his world
in the unique and special way
that only you can.

But what if this is also true –
that all he really asks of you
is to believe it,
and to let him
bless this world
through you?

When I was younger and considering my vocation, I knew that I called to serve the Kingdom of God. I did not feel that I was worthy to be a preacher, nor did I want to do so. I spent 13 years in the ministry profession before I burned out and opted for a new one.

Part of the burn out was the stress that comes with the awareness that I am/was chosen to this position of service for God’s people. Along with the position of minister/leader of a flock, comes an expectation of perfection, of “more” in the eyes of those whom you meet. There is a certain perconception about what a minister is to be, how a minister is to act, talk, or be. I was/am not the person that fit the mold.

While I knew that God called many different people to serve in many forms, it was the added pressure that we put on ourselves, that others put on us, that added to my stress. I was always “on”. It was exhausting.

What if he chose you,
and put you right where you are –
exactly there, in that very spot –
to bless his world through you?
What if there is no one else, no one but you,
chosen for this sacred task?

I knew from my work as chaplain at the hospital that I was where I was supposed to be, to help certain people, in my own unique way. I also knew that many did not like how or what I did at times. This added to my depression and at times, futility. My decision to leave the vocation was based on a culmination of factors; fighting a system, pressure from my church (through the sermons), lack of support when/where I needed it, and my own health.

Now I have stepped away from the vocation of service, but know that I am still called to serve. But the audience is different. Now I am a mother to 2 special needs twins, with their own issues and personalities.

BC has announced that they will move to Step 2 of reopening. Outdoor gatherings have been increased to 50 people, indoor gatherings up to 5 people or 1 other household, and playdates. Travel within our province, indoor worship, indoor dining, and people are returning to their offices.

Hubby has been told that his office is allowing people to return but that for those who are wary, the work from home option will be permanent, meaning that he doesn’t have to go to the office.. ever. I breathe a sigh of relief at that because the commute was long and it has been nice to have him here to help out and to have meals at a semi-regular time.

So I asked him, that in light of the changes, and pending lift of restrictions (July 1st – we could travel outside of province) what does he anticipate for the coming year. What should I plan for? You know what? Nothing.

We will not be planning any trips to Vegas, or cruises, or travel to the other end of the country to see my mother. Sure I would like to see a movie… in a theatre… with “real” popcorn. But otherwise, we don’t plan anything as it is still not safe.

I can’t really remember doing much last year, or the year before either. I know that 2 summers ago, we never went to the beach once with the kids.

So we will have to see what things we can plan locally or in our backyard for the summers, aside from their sessions with their BI.

Over this past weekend, the news has exploded with the horrible news of the 215 bodies discovered in a mass grave at a former residential school in Kamloops, British Columbia.

This is the province where I live. Over the past decade, we have heard more about reconciliation and various issues related to the Indigenous Peoples in Canada. Over the past two years, my children have read about residential schools as part of their course work at school. My children, who both have autism, have been very upset by it every time these stories come up. I have been at a loss about what to say.

My own experience with Aboriginal people has been limited. I grew up near Mi’kmaq as I lived in the Atlantic region. I knew of a few persons but did not have enough knowledge of their lives aside from knowing about the fact that they lived on a reservation/island, and that I went to school with the son of a prominent leader, John Joe Sark.

I also lived in Winnipeg for a few years, where I was told was the “Aboriginal Capital of Canada”, meaning that there were the most Aboriginals in Canada living in the Winnipeg area.

Living in BC, in this time period, I have been exposed to more knowledge about various cultures that I previously did not know about or have opportunity to meet. With this discovery using ground penetrating radar, the country is more aware of the history of residential schools and their existence. I was not aware that they were still in use in any form, and was shocked to learn that the last school in BC was in operation until 1996.

Yesterday, the staff at my son’s school wore orange to show support, and my son was asked to color a heart in orange motif. When he got in the car, I asked what it was for. He said that he didn’t know. I thought it unlikely as I would think that the teacher had explained it. When I got home, I found a note from the teacher saying that she explained about the 215 bodies found at the Kamloops location and that my son had gotten upset. Later when I asked him to do his homework, I repeated the question asking if he knew what it was for and he rattled off an explanation unprompted. When I discussed this when my spouse, I said that of course our kids got upset about this, and that my response is that he should be upset about this. We should all be upset that this country allowed this to happen.

I worried about what to say to my children about this news item and how much to say as they have difficulty to process information or are very sensitive about things. In my son’s case, his OCD and anxiety means that he will ruminate on some things (from years ago even), so I wasn’t sure how much to go into it.

Why is this discovery an issue? This is something that is not openly discussed but is an ugly part of Canada’s history. Essentially, the immigrants and settlers from Europe who deigned to take over the country, decided that the persons who lived here were primative and thus inferior. The English (mostly) sought to eradicate the culture, at times under the mistaken idea that these peoples were heathen and needed to be converted to Christianity. While I am a member of the Christian Church and a member of clergy, I would say that the methods and understanding of the time were inappropriate. To try to separate children from their families; to eradicate a culture and language is wrong.

When I worked in healthcare, I met a few survivors of residential schools, but I was limited in my understanding to help them. What little these survivors could express to me because of PTSD and trauma, showed me that they were affected to their core. The 80 year old man who broke down and cried, and had little words for his experience; I will never forget this.

Over the the past month, I have been working on a large clan of prominent families in my geneology research. I saw that my local church in BC had posted the 2019 annual report. In it are the names of deceased for that year. I started to enter them into Wikitree and research their families. One family, the Horans, married into the Blackstock family in Ontario. This particular branch of Blackstock also married another prominent pioneer family, the Gooderhams. William Gooderham Sr. was known as a distiller and miller. One of his granddaughters, Harriet Victoria Gooderham, married Thomas Gibbs Blackstock. Harriet and Thomas had 2 children, Katherine and George Edwin.

In researching this family, and George in particular, I came across a reference to a Macleans article called “Father. Diplomat. Murderer?” August 2020 issue of Maclean’s magazine. The article talk about a book written by George’s son, Jeff, and his belief that his father, George, killed his mother, Carol. I have just finished reading the book, Murder in the Family: How the Search for my Mother’s Killer Led to My Father.

The Blackstock family were prominent in business and politics. Lieutenant-Colonel George Gooderham Blackstock was an Officer Order of the British Empire recipient and senior executive of numerous companies including Steep Rock Mines. George had been appointed as deputy Premier of Ontario from June 1945 until his death in November 1945.

His son, George Edwin Bell Blackstock, was trained in law and became a Canadian career diplomat. He lived with his family in many places around the world including Argentina, Switzerland, England, Sweden, Germany and the United States. (from the Obituary in the Globe and Mail).

According to the book, Jeff pieced the story together from documents and interviews with family members and friends. He tells the story of how his father was 17 and dated his 15 year old mother, and married her when she became pregnant. Carol Gray became a dynamic wife in the social circles and had 3 children. Jeff tells the story that his family lived in Buenos Aires, Argentina and paints a picture of a young, vibrant wife through her letters to her parents, and stories from her house staff. At the age of 24, Carol became very ill and the local medical staff were unable to determine the cause. She was taken to Montreal, Quebec where she died at the Montreal Neurological Institute and Hospital. It was determined after autopsy that she had large amounts of arsenic in her system. She left 3 children, 12, 10 and 3, to mourn her loss.

When the 3 children were older, they began to question their mother’s death. According to the book, they were not told until 6 months after the fact that their mother was dead. Their father denied knowing the cause of her death, stating that he was never informed. The children had gained a new ‘mum’, a woman of high social standing from Germany within a year of their mother’s death. Things looked suspicious, but because of diplomatic immunity and the era (1959) there were certain social mores and complications.

Jeff details that he and his sister, Julia, investigated their mother’s death for many years but were met with little information and much denial from their father. In the end, they concluded that their father likely murdered their mother with the arsenic and due to his diplomatic status hoped that it would never come to light as it would kill his career.

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I was fascinated by this book for a number of reasons. First, I had learned about the prominence of the family and their extensive involvement in the various areas of Ontario and Canadian society. Second, it was a well written book; chronologically telling the story with some level of objectivity. I imagine that this book was drafted numerous times, but it is still amazing to me that the son was able to tell this story so well without it spirally into an incoherent rant.

I’m sure that the accusation of murder by a parent, as well as the suppositions of the actions of various members of the Canadian government are concerning to some readers. I wonder about the fallout and reaction to this book by the public.